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[18 Jan 2007|11:46am] |
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[08 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
Let's go Gators.
Erin Andrews, sideline temptress
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[19 Dec 2006|04:49pm] |
Bowl Season starts today. I'm not really too excited for anything until after Christmas, but the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl is tonight. And you'll watch it because it's on, and its been 15 or so days since theres been any college football on. And it's been 15 days since i've been able to make a wager on a sporting event. Hmmph.
I don't like Notre Dame, but more people like this guy will slowly change my mind. Drink Like A Champion Today
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[14 Dec 2006|12:54am] |
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a whole lot of metallica |
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Its close enough to the end of the year, so i'm going to go ahead and do this now, while i'm bored and thinking about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, my top youtube clips of the year*
5) Ed Orgeron's Hummer Commercial Ed Orgeron is my favorite head coach in college football. He coaches Ole Miss. The man helped USC win a National Championship in 2004 as an assistant coach, and has lead Ole Miss to a stunning 7-16 record over the last two years. I think i forgot to mention the man has lived in the Deep South all of his life and you can't understand a word he says. Hell, even a mock blog called Everyday Should Be Lemsdaywas set up, as a tribute to his use of LEMSDAY (translated: Let Them Stay, in reference to players recruited under a former Ole Miss coach) and other undecodable phrases. Ohhadecoach, yawbeebah! Yessa,olemissafoosbahs aback!
4)Greg Jones leveling a Tarheel. No background needed. Best hit by an offensive player i've ever seen.
3)The Pickle Girl I remember seeing this on TV a few years ago and thinking I was dreaming. It resurfaced a few weeks ago from a friend's bulletin on myspace (HT:GrizzlyRepellent) and no, you aren't dreaming either. Later in the show, a girl geeked the fuck out at the sight of mustard.
2)sk8boardin! Alright, it's not on youtube. shut up, it isn't like im getting paid to namedrop youtube. Collegehumor took more time away from my studying than anything else, with the slight exception of partypoker.com. Anyway, a friend of mine and his friends created what i believe to be one of the most hillarious clips i've seen in quite sometime. Filmed on the mean streets of west college avenue, these seriously are some badass skateboardin' dudes.
1)Tift County Highschool's Devil Walk This surfaced about 2 weeks ago, and it sealed the deal on my decision that it will be unacceptable for my children to attend a highschool north of the Mason-Dixon Line.
*this doesn't necessarily mean they were filmed this year, but just that I found them this year. And most are sports related. Get over it.
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[07 Dec 2006|07:39pm] |
in honor of the ESPN EVERYTHING BUT THE HEISMAN AWARDS I would like to present a few awards of my own:
- Concussion Farmer of the Year: Reggie "Fuckin'" Nelson, Florida
- Confused Coaching Staff of the Year: Alabama
- The "Your Prized Overrated Quarterback" Award: Brady "Megafag" Quinn
- The "Holy Shit! These are PERMANENT?!" Tattoo of the Year award: Anthony "What Endzone??" Morelli
- Sweatervest of the Year Award: 5 time winner Jim "YOMPTON" Tressel
- Best Roster Name of the Year: D'Cody Fagg
- The "Oh Wow, My Dad Was In The Legion Of Doom Award! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT A RUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!!": James Laurenitus
- "I Should Have Applied for That Medical Redshirt": Joe Paterno
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[03 Nov 2006|03:29pm] |
There are few things during college that make you completely forget about all the bullshit exams, classes, and work. These two things are undoubtedly tailgates and kegs. While the era of kegs at tailgates died in Happy Valley before I was a sophomore, these two simple pleasures managed to turn anyones sour mood into an awesome one. Everyone hates waking up early. 8am classes were death sentences. But when someone tells you 4 days before Saturday to be in the IM fields at 7am, you look forward to waking up. Few people get to experience the regret of switching to liquor at noon and then realizing the game doesn't start until 8pm. Hamburgers taste better in the middle of a parking lot, that's just common knowledge. Playing beer pong outside is easily 10 times better than playing in the corner of some dingy apartment.
Tailgates. Totally awesome.
Kegs are pretty self explanatory. You have the choice between 2 parties: one has 5 30-packs of Natty in the fridge. The other has a keg in the corner. You obviously choose the keg, regardless of the fact that there's basically the same amount of beer at both parties. A floater in a red Solo cup is less painful to find than a half drank can of Natty. Factor 2: keg stands. Come on. I dare you to find a better passtime, aside from tailgating. Factor 3: A keg party will last 2 hours longer than the other party, on average. Kegs seem to last forever, like some sort of screwy Chanukah miracle, except with less light and more awkward conversation. No one can stuff keg beers in their pants and run away back to their own house. Factor 4: Kegs have been scientifically proven to be more fun to throw. Whether off of a deck, down a set of stairs, at your friends, kegs just serve as a more effective scare tactic. Throwing an empty can at your girlfriend when she makes out with some dude? Laughable. Throwing an empty keg at her? Way more convincing.
Do you notice the look of fear as a keg is about to be hurled in the general direction of the camera? Try getting that look from an empty beast can.
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[26 Oct 2006|07:01pm] |
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I just saw on Outside the Lines that Michigan/Ohio State tickets are going for roughly 4200 dollars. Is this the most ridiculously anticipated college football game ever? Also, CBS Sportsline released their bowl predictions. If WVU ends up passing a one loss Michigan team or a one loss USC team to play for the Nat'l Championship, I will focus all of my collegiate sports energy to hockey. Even as an undefeated team, you're coming out of the Big LEast. At least CBS thinks we'll end up 3rd in the Big Ten. They have higher hopes than me. No way can we beat Wisconsin, barring some sort of miracle by the o-line. I'm over it, see ya in the Outback Bowl.
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[23 Oct 2006|01:37pm] |
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After sleeping through 2 alarms Saturday and getting blamed for making our tailgate dreams almost die, I was also blamed for a) The crisis on the Korean Peninsula, b) Penn State's strugles against Illinois-ing, and c)Pitt losing to Rutgers even before it happened. These accusations forced me to walk to the shark tank and drown my sorrows in high life while yelling "JUICE WILLIAMS" roughly every 30 or so seconds. At least I won a buck for hearing the stadium from sharkies parking lot.
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[09 Oct 2006|09:23pm] |
Michigan week is upon us. Of course, that means endlessly reading message boards, meticulous planning of my every move between now and kickoff, thinking about 12 hour tailgates, and nearly constant shit talking to anyone I know who are fans of scUM. Seeing it's only Monday, I don't have much to say about the game yet, until the Paterno press conference tomorrow afternoon (where we will undoubtedly hear the phrase "Heck of a _________" roughly 30 times in as many minutes) Early news stories are listing Mannigham as doubtful. Its either true, a trick to get us to let our guard down, or a trick an early ploy to get Lloyd Carr off the hook for answering endless questions. It's a lot weirder preparing for big games as a creepy alum. Anyway, no score prediction yet. I'll save it.
Anyone who's really into college football probably has seen this, but it stands to be posted. Tim Tebow is awesome. I don't like Florida football. But anyone (I'm looking in your direction Urban Meyer) who pulls out plays that resemble the first forward pass in college football deserves some attention. Tim Tebow, you are awesome.
In other awesome news, I have a new job prospect in California. Could be soon. We'll find out around Thursday.
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[28 Sep 2006|10:47am] |
I woke up this morning and decided to stalk facebook for a while, kill some time before I spend hours upon hours sending more resumes out. I came across Michael Robinson's profile and noticed a few things: a) i, at one point, added him as a friend. interesting. b) he has 500 pictures tagged of him, 450 of these are him and random dudes and girls. I decided to go look into this phenomenon and see if trusty old Anthony Morelli has anywhere near the same amount of fans.
I typed his name in the search box and found that not only does he NOT have a profile, but the only thing that comes up are hate groups. some of my favorites include, but are not limited to:
-Ohio State Player of the Game: Anthony Morelli
-Anthony Morelli ruined our season
-Zack Mills part 2: the anthony morelli story
-Anthony Morelli is a terrible, terrible person
- Morelli's tattoos...TERRIBLE!
This, by no means, is an attack on Morelli, rather just proof that because so many people hate him and gave up on him so early he is doomed to fail, undoubtedly meaning I wont be going to see a bowl game (that matters, you act like I would pay to go to the banana boat sunscreen bowl) for a few more years.
Morelli also looks like Beaker from the Muppet Show, but thats for a different time.
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[25 Sep 2006|11:34pm] |
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Billy Bragg and Wilco - Christ for President |
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a few things
- depsite the overwhelming amount of refugees at the saints/falcons game tonite, some of the refugees are totally hot babes
- i really like TV and would rather watch most primetime shows than go out, which works out well cause i dont exactly have money to go out
- do you realize how awesome mid to late 70s home decor really is?
- how hard is boise state?
- i kind of miss penn state. ok. i dont miss classes, living in filth, cover charges, or all the annoying people walking around, but i do miss having a sharkies, having a close starbucks, and having friends within walking distance.
- im tired of announcers explaining "thats not boo's you're hearing, the crowd is yelling DUCE!" both duces have been playing for a while, i get it.
- how awesome is jared lorenzen? seriously, when a QUARTERBACK is 6'4" 290 with a lazer rocket arm and his nickname is, get ready: THE FATASS WITH THE CANNONBLAST, is there any way you can't like him? whats that? you arent convinced yet? here, watch the magic happen. If for some reason you don't think that warrants him becoming my favorite third string NFL player aside from M-Rob, your opinion probably doesn't matter to me at all anyways.
- Anyone catch the Dodgers game last monday? 4 home runs in a row, the last being a walk-off, to win? MAGIC. (Note: keep your ears open for the playing of Zombie Nation, one of my favorite stadium anthems, after each HR. Then, inexplicably, they toss in that crazy Sandstorm song after the 3rd HR) The Pirates go ahead and waltz into Dodgers stadium and sweep the boys in blue, leaving me terribly confused on whether or not to be happy or sad. I was leaning towards indifferent until the Pirates were then swept by the Padres while the Dodgers struggled against the Diamondbacks, making my MLB life hell and leaving me in suspense for the next week wondering if the fucking Phillies are going to the playoffs instead of, what is without a doubt, the only team I root for that is worth my time.
- 11:05pm: I've told Suzy Kolber to shut up, outloud, 7 times since this game has started.
- I should probably go ahead and rant about Penn State's abysmal performances against worthy opponents, but i'm going to keep my mouth shut. Just let it be known I am extremely unhappy with Morelli and the offensive coaches. Is there a logical reason we aren't using d-wheels, d-buts, and JN's talent like we should? Is there a reason we aren't trying to get Morelli comfortable by using more bubble screens and short slants, then letting him drop a deep one to keep the safeties and corners guessing? Why has a leader on offense yet to emerge (I'm looking at you Tony Hunt) to keep everyone focused and loose? I'm done. The season isn't lost and the Viagara.com bowl isn't necessarily our destiny this postseason, but something better change quick. One more thing regarding my beloved Lions: After Morelli tossed his first pick-6 in the waining moments of the game, did anyone else notice Malcolm Jennings spiking the ball before he got into the endzone? The ball bouncing into the endzone and out of bounds, meaning we should have had at least another chance to score and go for the tie. How did the replay officials miss this? I was drunk and I saw it plain as day. Whatever. I'm over it. Whats stopping us from winning out, Michigan beating OSU on Nov 18 and us sharing a title again?
- I'd rather not get into the Bills season. Why has the story of my life footballwise, since high school, been 'Well, they have a great defense." I want some fireworks in my life, god dammit.
-11:23pm: Seriously, Suzy. Shut it. I understand the game is boring, Vick has successfully ruined my fantasy football hopes this week, there's no real reason the game is still on my TV and I haven't started watching Grandma's Boy again or tivo'd episodes of The Hills, but why do I care that Sean Payton has heard about people without homes talking about how they own 6 season tickets to the Ain'ts. There's a big difference between being a fan and being a retard. Going to Saints games when you're living at the YMCA or in an alley off Bourbon Street is retarded. This makes me think about how I remember saying at Sharkies once "Theres not a doubt in my mind that the Saints are going to do great this year, it's the NFL conspiracy and its back!" This was probably after roughly 10 High Lifes, but allow me to explain: In 2001, after the attacks on September 11th, once football started back up, the Patriots began to roll. Roll right into the playoffs. LOSE to the Raiders, but of course we remember the tuck rule incident in the snow, blah blah. There we have it: The Superbowl dedicated to America and it's heroes being won, in a bullshit way by the Patriots. It was fixed. The Rams were ringers. Now that the Superdome is reopened, what better way than to have a bunch of scrubs win in the most recent city ravaged by unfortunate events?
I mean, I'm just saying. I'll be back in State College on October 13-16.
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[09 Sep 2006|07:26am] |
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well, its a saturday, im awake obscenely early, and penn state is away. why? oh, because we're throwing a banger here so we can watch penn state beat brady "mega-fag" quinn and the rest of the micks down. so come over and bring something to throw in the deep fryer.. BLAT.
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[07 Sep 2006|08:20pm] |
Im really glad that Kristen Cavallari and one of the wayans brothers are really really into football
As much as i hate the steelers, i really dislike the dolphins too, and i cant see how the addition of one player is going to make them better. right now im not too sure why the steelers are running onto the field while Styx plays. ANYWAY, Miami - 24, Pittsburgh 17. And wow is Rich Eisen a terrible MC.
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[04 Sep 2006|09:20pm] |
A month since I moved home:
The Good:
- netflixing tupac movies
- ncaa every day
- drinking in the woods/mountains
- penn state is 1-0 and doesnt look too bad
- i have plenty of time to look for jobs?
- College football started, meaning the return of the Song Girls, which is a great day every year
- i dont spend much money because i don't have any friends to go out with?
- Girl Talk - Night Ripper, the new Killers, the new Andrew WK
- Penn State on the 15th, 16th, 17th
- Hillarity ensues during numerous fantasy football drafts
The Bad:
- no job
- no job
- no job
- very little money
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[06 Aug 2006|04:30am] |
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last saturday night in the sc. sad. very sad. shea, danny, and myself went to the skellar. then the shark. up til 5 drinkin 40s and listening to country and i feel like i should be waking up tomorrow for work at the commons and a football game and class starts monday. it isnt happenin. but man, i got plans. big plans. back in 724 in 3 days. a real person job to follow. you know ima keep yall updated. yesm maam.. oh by the way, i sort of miss you a little bit. i dont make promises.
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[26 Jul 2006|01:14am] |
a few things:
- i wrongly accused country music of sucking
- i might be a real people sooner than later, here in SC
- why HAROLD REYNOLDS, WHY!?!?
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[21 Jul 2006|12:54pm] |
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mood |
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great |
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the clash - police on my back |
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my life is going nowhere really. i dont exactly care, but whatever. im going home for a few days, theres some prospect in that. we'll see what happens. i have an interview next week. here. in the SC. i might be a real person in this town. thats basically the equivalent of being sent to heaven when you're still alive. ncaa 07 r00ls. derrek williams is too good. gosh, im thinking about being a real person here during football season. and being able to still go to the skellar after work on fridays, oh my word.
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[21 Jul 2006|03:36am] |
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im fucked, i still like her
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[18 Jul 2006|03:24am] |
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mood |
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still the Killers |
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Penn State is now officially my Alma Mater. Arts Fest has ended, and now the shitty part of my life begins (i.e. waiting patiently for a job, then, concurrently, waiting for retirement and hopefully nonstop bass fishing and sailing). Some fun was had, despite me not able to get my usual 4 days off for the holiday. A few quotes, if you don't care...
"What the fuck dude, are you pretending to be an extra on 'The Hills'?"
"Why dont YOU lighten up?!?!"
"You probably should have just hired a Mexican, they're way less lethargic"
"Then I saw you, face down on a butt, sleeping the night away"
"Sure, I missed you, I mean, mostly when i was drunk, but that still means something I think..."
"Hey fuckass, I dont care how much Jamey was drank, give me a fucking Tupac laugh then I'll think about shutting up"
"But TOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD, I'm soo tired!" (note: no one named Todd was partying with us at any point from Thursday until tonite, Monday the 17th)
The den was the destination on Thursday, dollar L.I's, overdressed girls, buttcrack bearing dads, and of course a nurse and a celebrity lookalike, the only reason i began going to the den in the first place, really. I was then forced to go to the Shark, which was nothing less than hillarious.
Flash to Friday afternoon, post work, when we went to the Skellar at roughly 4pm to relive spring semester memories and patiently wait for captain and cokes. Keeping with the pirate theme, i was whisked away to a pirate party where I was covered in Mickey's Ice and sent home cold, wet, and lousy.
Saturday: was stuck in the hellhole with the ann-i-mal from 11-8. afterwards, turned on the jets, caught up, went to the shark for 'This is where dreams go to die' night, dont recall the rest of the night, but sources say I was last heard talking about Batman Forever and then slept on a butt while the rest of the party continued to play pong and make jokes about my awkward regression to the age of 6 (not being able to convey simple messeges to other people, not being able to identify my surroundings, age, or reasons for really wanting to watch Batman Forever) Im sure my choice of sleepover buddy was awkwardly inappropriate, but it was quite fitting for a weekend of bad decisions, i think. whatever. you may or may not know what im talking about.
Sunday: Hippies cleaned my kitchen. Last stop at the Brewery as a resident of SC. Being hit in the face with a wiffleball bat was also a pretty rad thing.
it usually ends here, with 'now i have another week of class until i can get loose/go to a football game/go on a roadtrip' but no, we took back sunday and we sure as hell werent going to let a day like monday slip away:
The usual weekday Natty deposit center of the gnar-lea was the site, and all was normal, talking about past conquests, feats, and downfalls. Abby, Adam, and Myself were then joined by a strange 45 year old man with a shopping bag and a Penn State polo shirt, the sort you see about 60,000 of during homecoming weekend. Said man sits, neigh, CRASHES down onto the porch and proceeds to hand out cheesteaks to all of us. More trashed than anyone i've encountered over the age of 35, the man, who we will call "Awesome Alum", proceeds to explain how "fucked" he is, and how Abby has really nice "McGuffins" and I have "wild eyes". He likes us, however, we are very nervous. After several frail attempts at leaving, falling into a few trees/bushes, and hacking up his lungs, A.A. grabs the remaining FIVE CHEESTEAKS, and staggers away, into the warm, humid, State College night. I hope i can come back and hang out, but i hope i never scare the shit out of some recent grads with a bag full to the tits with cheesesteaks.
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[11 Jul 2006|02:33pm] |
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anyone need a roommate starting in august? ill find a job and i dont have too much stuff. i dont want to move home.
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[02 Jul 2006|03:51am] |
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im sure yer all pumped i posted....
im still unemployed, weighing options of med school/grad school.
making 5.50/hr selling books.
still drinkin and being sweet
july 4 here will be fun, come up
thats about all, im due at work at 11
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[20 Jun 2006|04:33pm] |
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detroit cobras |
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boy, itd suck to live up the road from this:
its probably 1976 there, but whatever, it looks the same. well, august isnt that far off
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[06 Jun 2006|02:59am] |
i dunno, somethin bout the devil....
so we went out, got drunk, played darts and drew pentagrams on our forearms, sue me. this aint gonna happen ever again, let alone in my lifetime. i anticipate someone nuking someone before 6/6/2106.
and im probably moving to san diego as soon as i find a job. deal with it.
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[20 May 2006|12:27am] |
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being a real person isnt so bad, working fulltime at a bookstore is sort of dumb, and i mean, i shoulda saw that comin, but whatever. the pistons are stupid. i still look at my degree every day before work to remind myself im better than 5.50/hr and that it isnt my fault the job market for real people is a little shakey now. im heavily considering hangin up the rage boots and taking chem 14, 34, bio 110 and phys 210 and working at the hospital and taking MCATs. this probably seems like a midlife crisis, and well, thats ok. at least id spend the cash on becoming a doctor and not on a camaro or something.
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[16 May 2006|01:31am] |
i ususally just do this on deathwish msg boards, but they are down so ima do it here:
oh shit im an alumni playlist:
fucked up - epics in minutes
eagles of death metal - death by sexy
black sabbath - sabbath bloody sabbath
none more black - all
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[13 May 2006|03:22pm] |
so, here we go. 3 hours til graduation. this is gonna suck and be awesome at the same time. i did all the quintessestial college stuff during senior week, like a bar tour:
sigh. im a grownup.
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[30 Apr 2006|04:51am] |
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mood |
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wow |
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nofx - the decline and also nofx - theme from a nofx album |
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the going gets tough, the tough get dead.
dont pay attention, pay the rent.
shits all good. weird and stranglely cordial, but good. im very into it.
I WON COLLEGE BY THE WAY. CONGRATS CLASS OF 2006. WE IS ALL GROWS UP
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[29 Apr 2006|12:30am] |
youll be so stoked to jam out choking victim - no god, no manager.
ok so its 12th grade again, im sad that im done with colllege ok fine. im crying dude.
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[26 Apr 2006|07:33pm] |
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in 45 minutes i will be at crowbar seeing GHOSTFACE. oh yeah.
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[26 Apr 2006|01:59am] |
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Theres a lot of shit weighing on me lately; graduation, life post Penn State, but most of all just stupid, petty, unnecessary drama. I let myself fall for a girl in like October. Everything was wine and roses until February; I make big plans for Valentines Day, we fight, plans cancelled, then no contact. for about a month and a half. We start up hanging out; im weary at first, but it's fun again. Sure, nowhere close to previous times at all, but whatever. Roll with it, right? We hang out more, drama-free, talk out the problems. This past weekend, shit was cool as hell; went out and partied with her, hung out a bunch. I get drunk, forget to call back, and the shitstorm starts. I understand i can be blunt with people, and that can definitely be interpretted as mean, but i had no intention whatsoever of being mean. Now its right back to ignoring one another until about an hour ago when i get a phone call. im asleep, dont make it to the phone, text back, no reply. I get a reply, saying i dont want to text this, call me tomorrow. There is no reason i need to explain myself to her; this past weekend tons of my friends were here, which she knew, and she had no reason to blow up at me. i find out shes crying at the bar about things. not all about our situation, but still. i have no idea why i let this dictate my thoughts, namely my thoughts while trying to sleep. but it happens. and thats weird for me. im not sure what the point of all this was, especially for the internet to read and disect, but give me a break. im dyin here.
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